Encouragement For Mothers: Little Helpers

As my husband and I are raising our two (soon to be three) children, there are a few character traits we have made a priority to instill in them: self control, patience, cheerfulness and being helpful. We've found that we have had the greatest success in training them up to have these traits in their hearts by teaching with example and keeping them close to us as we go about our daily lives--which means we have had to teach ourselves how to keep these traits front and center in our hearts and countenance (not always easy, but the more we work and learn in our own spirits, it continues to grow in our family).

There have been times, particularly early on in my mothering that I wanted to shoo a little one off. "Go play with your toys, mommy's busy. I really need to get this done." Now while I'm sure that still pops out of my mouth here and there (particularily when trying to meet a writing deadline!) I have tried to give my attitude a mega adjustment and see those little hands as being helpful while recognizing an opportunity to have my children work alongside me, whether it be in the kitchen, garden, etc. A valuable chance to not only teach them what I am doing, but to listen and talk with them. To spend time with them. And busy little hands helping mommy have a lot harder time getting into trouble, then little hands left on their own somewhere else in the house!

My daughter recently turned two and I cannot be in the kitchen, whether its making a PB&J or a batch of cookies without her scooting a chair over, nabbing her little apron from the drawer, climbing up and seeing how she can watch and help. This brings her joy. Her favorite tasks are dumping ingredients that I've measured into the bowl and stirring. She's also my champion tortilla roller outer. Give that girl a rolling pin and she's one hot senorita in the kitchen.

Recently, after about an hour of working in the garden with my four-year-old son, I turned to him and asked, "What would you rather do? Play with toys or help mommy do a project." Now this wasn't a trick question and I was certain of his answer--toys. But he surprised me. After a moments thought, he turned to me and said, "helping mommy with projects."

I couldn't believe it. So much of our culture today instills into our minds that our children need every toy on the market and millions of DVD's to keep content and be entertained. When in reality, they just want to be loved. They want to be noticed, appreciated and helpful. They want to look up into an adult face and hear the words, "You did an awesome job. I couldn't have done it without your help." And to parents with younger children, take advantage of that window while its still wide open.

There were a few life choices that helped. My husband and I have always talked about having very few battery-operated toys. We didnt want our children always seeking entertainment. Plastic tools, little shovels and rakes, balls, trucks, tractors, puzzles, books, and cooking utensils for mud pies and leaf soup are what our children have had since they were tiny tots. People sometime comment on my son who is always eager to jump out and dig in the snow or the dirt or to help an adult fix something. And I always say "Tools are his toys. This is his favorite thing to do."

While my children get plenty of time for free play everyday, hours in fact now that its beautiful and sunny out, we always manage to come together here and then to work side-by-side which is where so much of their schooling and learning takes place. And the results are a parent's greatest reward. Just the other day, while the kids were in the back yard having fun all on their own, I looked out to see that my son had hopped off his swing and was standing their giving his sister a few minutes of good-pushing time on her own swing. I saw then and there, that to be helpful is now a part of his heart. He's learning to value the time he spends with his sister and to think of how he can serve others, not grudgingly, but with a laughing, four-year-old heart.

A Meek and Quiet Spirit

Twice a month I get together with girlfriends of mine and as our ever growing quantity of children play in the yard, we spend a few hours sipping tea, eating homemade cinnamon rolls and talk about whatever book we're reading together. Right now, we are reading Homeschooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Teri Maxwell. What a blessing this book is! And you don't even need to be a home schooling mom to appreciate it!

In her book, Teri describes a meek and quiet spirit--basically meaning, that as mothers, we should strive to be calm, patient and loving as we raise our children--not prone to anger or frustration. For me, it's been an interesting journey--a journey that has changed my life and our whole home. In trying to focus on keeping a meek and quiet spirit with my children, I have seen such changes in my life and I know that my children are the better for it.

But not only does Teri share how we can gain a meek and quiet spirit, she also explains how easy it is to lose one. Yikes! The biggest stumbling block for me: disorganization.

Am I the only mother who has walked into a messy room or passed a junk drawer only to have their blood pressure rise? Ack! Is there no end in sight? Suddenly, the frustration kicks in and our patience and joy---uh, hello? Where did it go?

We're left feeling hopeless.

I have been that person...trying to prepare dinner with a stack of bills at my elbow and a pile of dirty laundry under my feet. So yes, disorganization can be a robber of a meek and quiet spirit.

So what's the solution? I've followed Teri's advice and created a daily schedule. Her schedule is much more detailed than mine, but for now, mine is working very well. I printed it up on a monthly calendar and its taped inside my computer cabinet, a place this writer mama spends a lot of time (hehe). Every day I have only three requirements. Just three things that MUST be done, no exceptions. 1) Bible time with the kids. 2) A chore 3) My son's homeschooling. That's it, pretty simple!

And there is a reason why I have chosen these three tasks.

The homeschooling is a given. My son is still three so we spend about ten to fifteen minutes a day working on letters, numbers or a craft (In an organized, sit down manner). It's just enough time for squirming limbs to sit still, then he's off to play like a rocket. I say organized manner, because he's learning all day long: While we work in the garden, moving firewood with Grandpa, etc.

By including Bible time into our schedule, I can finally carve time out of my day to read the Word and the kids are looking at the pictures in their Bibles along side me. We usually do this before the baby naps as it tends to relax her. We sit for about fifteen minutes on the couch and it doubles as practice for the kids to learn how to sit still. They join us at the beginning of church and have learned to sit through worship pleasantly, then they skip of to nursery for the second half. Also, I had to go to the DMV the other day, and they sat ever so nicely by my side. It was delightful!

One chore is pretty self explanatory. Although we mom's basically clean from morning 'til night, I like to have one important task that must be done each day (I have one day for the bathroom, another for clearing away papers and filing them away, etc.) Thursdays remain open for what I call my "meek and quiet spirit robber day." Whatever around the house is driving me the craziest, gets penciled into that day. My daughters un-closable closet and dresser have been eating at my nerves so I penciled it in last week and today, I completely eliminated the mess...and that meek and quiet spirit robber is no more! Yay! It's a great feeling ;) And my meek and quiet spirit robber chore for next week...let's just say that there's a Land Rover in my driveway that's going to have a showdown with a crazy writer and her shop vac.

But surprisingly enough, there is one task that is not on my schedule...writing. I could write all day if given the chance, but then my children would be running around like wild Amazonian monkeys. I've struggled with this in the past and finally prayed for God to send me a solution. Then somehow, because my schedule is keeping me organized and on track, I have time to write every single day, usually during nap time and it's been a blessing. That worry is lifted from my shoulders and I no longer fear that my writing is taking away from all the other things I should be doing as a stay-at-home-mom. So although I kept my favorite hobby off the schedule to keep it from becoming too much of a priority, the time for it simply fell into place. :)

For more on Teri Maxwell and Homeschooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit, check out: Titus2.com

Kids (and Moms) Say The Darndest Things!

When I pictured motherhood, I imagined an infant in a clean onesie, a stroller that always looked like it came from the factory and sippy cups that never leaked on my couch.
Yeah. Hardy har har.

The baby showers ended in a flurry of pink and blue confetti then in the blink of an eye, my infants grew into chatter boxes...uh, I mean toddlers.

I knew all kids said funny things, that's why then made a tv show about it. So I expected cute nothings coming out of my little one's mouths...things like "Mommy, the clouds look like cotton candy."
"Yes dear." I'd pat their clean, well combed heads. "You're so adorable, innocent and calm."

But no one ever warned me for the insane things they would DO...resulting in the insane comments that would pop out of my mouth.

I'll share a few:

One day I glanced out the window to find my 3 year old with the hose in his hand. "Please stop watering the chickens." He looks at me like, You do it mommy.
So I'm forced to respond. "Yeah, well mommy does it only when the chickens eat her flowers. There's a difference."

And I'll never forget the embarrassing incident at the market when I had to say, "Levi, You don't pat men's tummys in the grocery store." He looks up at me with large, adorable, confused eyes and once out of earshot, I add, "I don't care how big it is."
I never imagined needing to apologize to a red suspendered man. "Sorry sir. I think he was trying to give you a high-five."
I toss a disapproving look to my son. Apparently sometimes temptation is just too much to take.

Then there's kiddo #2. His one-year-old sister is lighting-fast when it comes to stealing his things...the train off his tracks, the sippy cup from his lap. My son knits his eyebrows together and tells her, "No." Then he often turns to me and says, "Let's take her to the dump."

Believe me son, there's days I would like to. The girls lucky she's so cute. I'm certain that's why God made puppies and babies irresistibly adorable--survival.

I'll be out at a yard sale, or the store and a passerbyer might say, "How much for the little girl?" It's a common joke, you know, 99cents for a pound of apples, $2.00 for that old picture frame, $10 dollars for the kid. I pause as temptation pulls my response in two different directions. I look down at my toddler who is chewing on the box of cereal and has thrown her shoe out the cart two isles back.
My response is usual the same. "Depends on the day."
They smile.
"Somedays, she's priceless. Other days I'd trade ya for that Starbucks in your hand."
Which means, all I have to do is tell my mom "It's a half-price day," for her to know that its been busy, hectic, sticky, messy, squealy and stinky. She hugs me and says, "You're a great mom. I'm so glad I'm the grandma."


I'd love to hear the funny things your children...and their mother say, in hopes that I'm not the only one whose lost my mind (and any sliver of coolness I may have had). Share your stories by posting them in the comment box below and we'll all have a laugh :D